- It is important to be closely connected with your partner even when they cannot be physically together.
- Sex therapist Emily Morse suggested lightening the mood with a virtual dinner and in-depth conversation.
- Then you can practice dirty talk and implement special long distance sex toys.
- You can find more stories on the Insider homepage.
Whether you’re in a long distance relationship, miss your boo on a business trip, or can’t see your lover due to pandemic-related restrictions, a virtual connection can keep the sense of closeness alive regardless of distance.
According to Emily Morse, sex therapist and podcast host of “Sex with Emily,” using your phone or webcam to have sex with your partner when you can’t be physically together is a great way to increase intimacy and communication promote.
Set the mood with dinner and intense conversation
Before Morse delves straight into sending files or phone sex, he suggests setting the mood with your partner.
“If we only rely on the physical it can take up a lot of space and time, but after a while it will fade. When it does, we don’t have the depth, intimacy and communication skills.” Sex or other important relationship issues, Morse told Insider.
Because of this, she suggested planning a virtual dinner where you and your partner order similar meals together through Zoom or FaceTime.
During this time, ask each other questions about “How was your day?” or gossip about your friends, said Morse. If you’re not sure where to start, she suggested these relationship building questions:
- What does monogamy look like for you?
- What would you do if you won the lottery?
- Who is a famous person you would ask about dinner and why?
- How important is sex to you in a relationship?
- How would you like to prioritize our future sex life?
She also suggested The 36 Questions That Lead to Love, a collaboration between the New York Times and psychologist Arthur Aron.
If you’re new to virtual sex, experiment with talking dirty over text
If you’ve never had phone or video sex before, dirty talk can feel intimidating or uncomfortable.
But practice makes perfect, according to Morse. “Talking dirty is an art and a skill,” she said.
First, think about what turns you on, listen to audio erotica, read erotic novels, or watch porn for inspiration.
Write down words and phrases that sound hot to you, Morse said, and practice in the shower. If you’re still shy, “you could write your own erotic about the last time you were with your partner,” she said.
Then you can take it to text messaging. Morse suggested talking about what to do in the future as an easy way to get excited about sex on the phone with your partner later in the day or week.
Another way to turn yourself into dirty talk is to text your partner to do with you later or describe a sexy moment you had together before, according to Morse.
When you’re comfortable, you can cast your dirty talk over the phone or on FaceTime.
Try a sex toy that your partner can control from a distance of several hundred kilometers
They can’t completely replace the presence of your partner, but long distance sex toys can be a helpful solution.
Partner toys are available in different options, e.g. B. as a toy for each partner or as an individual toy that the other person can control via a smartphone app. According to Morse, it’s a great way to remotely masturbate each other.
“You can turn it on, turn it off, you can control the patterns. I think that’s really fun when you get that level of confidence in your trusting relationship,” she said, adding that the Moxie from WeVibe and Couples Sets from KIIROO are some of their favorites.
Check in with each other before you hang up
Whether you want to orgasm each other or just dirty talk to build up the excitement for later, it is important that you reach out to your partner emotionally before you end the zoom call or hang up the phone.
“I’m a huge fan of aftercare,” said Morse. “Breathe together and have a moment where you connect and share compliments about what you are feeling in the moment and what was great about it.”