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‘My accomplice’s melancholy is affecting our intercourse life’

Dear Roe,

I’ve looked everywhere for advice on what to do if the woman wants sex and the man doesn’t. I am a hypersexual woman in my 50ss and my partner has erectile dysfunction. At the beginning of our relationship, we had a lot of sex. He has since fallen into depression for a number of family reasons, and sex has become increasingly rare. I was fine; he was depressed so obviously he wasn’t feeling sexy, but then I found out that he was watching a lot of pornography. I confronted him and he said that it helped him feel sexual and that it would help him “get back to sex”. That was four months ago and nothing has changed in the bedroom. If anything, we have even less sex. He knows I still want a sexual relationship and finds him extremely attractive. How can I stop feeling rejected and betrayed?

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